Saturday night Mass

OK, since tomorrow is Himself's birthday, we decided to go to Mass tonight so he can have a lie-in tomorrow - if the children allow. We have a Church that seats 800. It has become apparent that at least 780 of these people are stupid. Or sleepwalking. Or both. CAUTION - Very non-Christian comments will follow. But I excuse myself because even Jesus got ticked at stupid and unfair people. Ok, these people come into Church acting like they are at a carnival. I am not so conservative that I will comment on styles of dress. My motto is - you are here and that's what matters. God does not care about clothes. God made bodies so your wrinkly ass knees are not going to scare Him. BUT I will interject one provision to that, and again I feel like I can since I am one of the unskinny. Here are the rules I want everyone to follow and accept:

1- Because you own it does NOT mean it fits you

2- Because someone had it for sale does NOT mean you should buy it

3- Just because someone you know said it looked ok on you does not mean that it does. The person you ask should not answer every question with "uh huh".

3- Look at yourself in the mirror. Check out everything. Does it fit? Is it long enough? NOW (and this is the crucial part) TURN TO THE SIDE. I know, I hate the way it looks too. I cannot believe that's what I look like from the side either. BUT IT IS A NECESSARY STEP in making sure all the parts are covered. It is important when you are unskinny to be covered - and not just the naughty bits. Most things.

Ok, so clothing aside - these people are chatting loudly, calling across the Church to friends, looking at cell phones (AND NOT SHUTTING THEM OFF! I swear, just once couldn't God lightning bolt one that rings during the Consecration?) - you name it and they are doing it. And all the time, quietly He sits and does not command attention. The little red light next the tabernacle lets us know that He is there. He died for us and it hurt. His Mommy had to watch the whole thing and probably wanted to die herself. I know now that no matter how old, my babies will always be my babies. It must have been the same for her. How did she bear it? She had borne so much already. And all for us, so that we could see God one day. He suffered to wash away the sins of us all, the sins of the Ages. He was granted victory over death and now He cannot be granted the respect of the people in the same room as He is? And the Priests won't yell, won't tell people how to act because if they do - well, people won't come back. I am beginning to believe that would not be such a bad thing. And I'm left sitting there saying to myself "Judge not lest ye be judged" and trying to get my children to act the way I know they should so that at least I can say we are trying. And I remember that God is our Father, and as such is more forgiving than I can understand. But how about just one small zap to a cell phone if no one gets hurt? :)

The Thing That Lives in the Backyard

Ok, so there are a ton of renovation and upgrades we want to do on this house. One is the backyard - what there is of it. There is only about a 40 feet until a hill started that is about a 60 degree angle, up hill. Most of the acre is off to the side of the house. We have left the hill for too long and it has started to erode. I've called for landscaping estimates and the fun will begin there soon. In the meantime - we have a resident. We have always referred to the as The Thing That Lives in the Backyard. (T3LB for sake of brevity here - and a really cool rap name if It so decides!) OK, so T3LB has lived there since late season last year. It has a huge hole/home towards to top of the hill. I can see it come out in the mornings from my kitchen table. (Wild friggin' Kingdom around here between them, deer, skunk, coyotes and a hog nosed snake I saw the other day. Not ready to discuss the snake yet!) So, since I've hatched the landscaping plan I've been wondering how we will get rid of T3LB. I've begun to feel a little like Bill Murray's character in Caddyshack. I talk to it from my seat, over my coffee. Things like "Enjoy it all now, because you are going to be evicted!" Chortle, chortle, snort. Well, as of the last few days - well T3LB has been showing me it's ASS! As if to say,"Oh, yeah? Kiss THIS! I'm going nowhere!" OMG! I wonder what now? Will we be like Over the Hedge and have to get the laser system to capture it? How much will T3LB end up costing me? I don't like him and he knows it. He's bigger than my dog though, so I have no real weapon. When we lived in the house I grew up in from ages 10-26 we had a T3LB there BUT we also had a part Lab- part Raccoon Hound who would chase it back into the woods. One day, it just up and died and the dog was shocked. She LOVED to chase it but had no real desire to kill it. It just went teats up one chase, before she even got to it. AND THEN NANA MADE ME LIFT IT WITH HER AND THROW IT INTO THE WOODS!!!! It was the end of the summer so it must have weighted 40 pounds, if not more. That's the grossest T3LB story of all time I think - even grosser than the time The Thing That Lives in the Backyard became the Thing That Loves in the Backyard. We had our own Rodent of Unusual Size porn going on. Puke. So, there will be another chapter to this saga. Can Wonderpup be taught a martial art do you think? NinjaPup has a nice ring to it!

Wonderpup and house renovations

I fear that the beautiful, ultra hip Wonderpup might be turning atheist. We just had to wrestle the second Church envelope from her - she had eaten one earlier today - and she also tried to eat the tuition statement! She might be the Pomeranian Martin Luther. Ok, he had a list of 95 reasons to break from Catholicism and she has eaten 95 things today but she was rather ecumenical about it - she is a non-biased, equal opportunity chewer. Maybe it really isn't her stand against Mother Church? Phew! She is now asleep upside down with the glue from the tuition envie stuck to the side of her mouth. I don't have the energy to go get it. I'm sorry Father, the dog ate our tuition bill????

The carpets are getting on my LAST nerve and I have to try to decide what I want done with the floors. It can't be good that a 6 pound dog is forcing my hand at renovations. In the mean time I need to once again scrub up Wonder pee :( argh! Good news is that Himself finished painting the Master bedroom and I love it! A malted milk color on the top 2/3 and a richer brown on the bottom third. Love it!

Would you do him? In what movie?

Ok - my best foreign friend and I were having an interesting discussion (side note: I have learned that the word "interesting" really means that I find it worth mentioning. When Himself says things are interesting a la "I was reading some global politics hoozit and the interesting things is _____" I always know that it will not be interesting. Soooo many other people do not know the TRUE meaning of this word either so I don't hold it against him.)So anyhoo, my friend - let's call her Fifi, is from a country not too far from here. Let's say Mexico. So Fifi was saying that she too finds Patrick Swayze sexy in Dirty Dancing. BUT then the revelation hit - she ONLY find him sexy in DD - no other movies! ME TOO! Wow! Who else? We discussed that we would do Tom Cruise in Top Gun and maybe cocktail but so totally NOT in Risky Business or any of his other movies! We had to talk business after that so things got boring but there must be more out there. Can you think of others? Do tell! Himself volunteered that Carrie Fisher was hot as Princess Leia (like every other man on the planet it seems) but not as the chick in her next movie - The Man WIth One Red Show with Tom Hanks. See, now there's a name. I have NEVER found him hot in anything. But you know who is ALWAYS hot? My Liam. Liam Neeson. Rob Roy in a kilt, Michael Collins in an Irish Soldier uniform - even as the Jedi Master dude in those must-be-endured Star Wars movies. And I don't think it's just because he's Irish either.

Graduations, Nemo, Designer Visits - etc!

Let me start by saying we were in Rochester all weekend (Friday through Monday) for a graduation for hubby's niece. It was nice to be there to see her graduate but I want to know who decides how these ceremonies will go. We are there at 10:30 and nothing starts until 12:30. Princess2 is getting antsy. Ok, the President of the University talks and tries to be cool. Ugh. Then the valedictorian greets us all by name it seems (President, esteemed professors, graduates, parents, family members, janitors, lawn dudes, crows in the back of the field....) and then there is always a quote to show how much s/he knows about living life to it's fullest and reaching for that brass ring. More looking back on all this class has accomplished -the same class that shouts the loudest when beer is mentioned, who is playing beachball right now during the speech, and some of whom appear to not be wearing pants. (One even came late and had bought NACHOS at the refreshment stand!) Yes, I am sure it has been magical. And some beer right now would make MY stay on your campus better too, so I would also cheer. Then a Senator gave a speech that was OK but apparently a repeat of every other speech he has done because this family had been to another graduation last year and he said the same stuff! He told us all about some bad choices he made and then ran for office. Ok, sounds like the stuff dreams are made of. To the credit of the 20 somethings that graduated - they stopped playing ball during the National anthem. Was so glad to see that! But, at the point where the second keynote started was as far as Princess2 was going to hold on - we were all getting burned out there - yes, as an added bonus it was OUTSIDE! And we got to experience all the main weather phenomenon: cold, warm, hot, rainy, windy - and all without beer! Or at the very least a bottle of Moet like I took to my own graduation. Princess2 and I went to the car to watch Nemo for the 756th time. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....."

I had an interior designer in my house for the first time today. My Mother never had one in and I really had no idea what to expect. She was very nice, very easy to work with and I am looking forward to implementing her ideas. First step is taking a wall down, so that is a little scary - and not too excited about the disruptions and all but - "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming....."

I start tomorrow with a 3 hour conference call that is destined to not go well. Any idea how good THAT feels? Urgh!

My baby is HOME!

The class trip went well. She loves museums. Apparently Daddy did not hurt any of the other children, so that's good! Of course they were in NYC alone together today and all went well, but together they could not spot Princess 2, Wonderpup and Myself in the school parking lot???? In the honkin' mini van? Wonder Twin powers activate! Shape of a blind bat, form of (insert pithy statement about a blind water thingy here.) So, when the place finally clears, I figure they will find us. No........ we must drive the less than 100 yards over to get them. Unreal! BUT they are home and that is so good. What I hate is that we missed them, were so excited to spot them and then it disinegrates into aggrevation. So anticlimactic. Well Princess 2 and Wonderpup were still ok after they got over the confusion of why the heck the other 2 could not see us! LOL!

Dirty Dancing and The Day Ahead

Ok, so I had put DD on TiVo pause while I blogged before. I went back to watch it and cannot get over that I majorly block that the middle of the movie is about a botched abortion. Too sad to get into when one spends their life hoping for lots of babies and then waiting 8 years for a second one. Must focus on the fact that she was well worth the wait. BUT that's not really the point. I love our two so much and would not trade them, but like a friend just wrote about in HER blog, the scars of infertility run deep. They kinda make you a little loopy - at least in my case. Like I have the GYN appt today. My period is late so I fantasize that he will tell me that I'm pregnant - even though it would have to be an immaculate conception OR I slept through it. Now, how likely are either one of those scenarios? Then I think, well, maybe LAST month's period was one of those that you get while pregnant so you never suspect you are pregnant? I don't think I tested since it showed up. Sigh, if that was going to be a blog about this stuff I could have put it on FT!

So, diet goes well. Into new numbers (new second numbers, like um, going from 112 to 102. Only not those numbers. I swear, I think my skeleton weighs more than that!) Need to do SOME kind of exercise today. Anything.

So Princess 1 is on a class trip with Daddy and Princess 2 and Wonderpup are home with Mommy today. Should be interesting. "Can I have a pencil? Can I have a hotdog?" these sentences were uttered in rapid fire the other day and you HAVE to wonder how you go from one to the other so quickly!

And I've decided to forgive Patrick Swayze for ever writing "She's like the wind though my tree.........." Any boy that can move like that deserves a second chance!

Dirty Dancing and the Gynecologist

Why is the movie Dirty Dancing so appealing to me still? Let's see - what did it have to begin with? Well, Patrick Swayze was sexy in it and he could dance. Jennifer Gray had an endearing quality that made you think she was an average girl BUT then she copped on to the dancing too quickly and it became CLEAR that she had some classical ballet training and could really dance. So then you started to not like her as much but were still happy that they got to be together. Even though I always really wanted to know what happened next - after that summer. We still quote the movie - and I still love white canvas Keds. Maybe since I grew up in the Catskills - although the era of the hotels had shifted to a different clientele - perhaps I thought I could be like Baby and have someone recognize my good qualities and help them to shine? Separate the "me" from the person I was with my family? (not that I was not free to be me, I was repressing myself more than anything) Luckily my boy did come along, and he was carrying a watermelon - because of this movie. But now I am left wondering if I have placed too much emphasis on another person helping me to shine, to uncover what is under all of these layers. Did Johnny and Baby get married and have one baby right away and it took her 8 years to have another? And then did people tell her she should close up shop there? Did she stand on the verge of 40 with hormonal and weight issues that were so intertwined that she was confused as to what was her fault and what was genetics? Did she work so hard to run a business and make money that she lost sight of who and where she was? Did she move into a house and still not have full use of it a year later because she and Johnny could not get things done? I doubt it. It's a movie and I get that. But maybe movies influence too many of us as far as what we had hoped life would be, what we still think life should be? Or is there something to them that rings true? If they really love each other would the daily tasks get done better? Does it matter that she has said she needs help and plans never transpire to provide that help? Do the things we promise each other in those first minutes, days and early years of love really count, or are they just the results of loneliness and once that loneliness is gone, we do not need to honor them? Is it true that all's you need is love? Too many questions.

So, where does the gynecologist come into this story? Appt. Tomorrow and I am half looking forward to it, half dreading it. He's a nice man so I am happy to go see him, but it's another year at the same weight and my 4th year on Metformin. It should have been the key to regulate everything and I should be a skinny minnie by now. And last year he asked me why I would even want another child when I have two perfect ones now, and am approaching 40 this June. How do you explain to someone else a feeling that you cannot explain to yourself? Why does it all swirl together so?

In the beginning...........

I have decided to start blogging here, in a public forum that I might let others see, for a really good reason. Because my husband has a blog he contributes to and he can get out of doing stuff because he's blogging. Ok so his is on politics, the state of the free world and all that kinda stuff but mine is going to be important too. It's going to be about what I like (scrapbooking, pocketbooks, Pomeranians), what I do not like (stupid people, other stupid people, stupider people) and things I wonder about. (you will have to stay tuned for this one. I'm not giving them up that easily!)