An Open Letter To Those Who Park Wherever They Want To

Ok - Himself and I have been noting several instances of this for some time and I need to address them here so as not to hurt someone in real life.

1) Preschool Parker - why do you park in the margin of the exit? As you must know (because we all know) the parking lot of our little school was repaved and relined to the tune of $58,000. The white lines mean you can park between them. They are not some massive Suduko puzzle or empty organic chemistry bond skeleton. YOU CAN PARK THERE! You always show up with the one kid you are leaving at the school, wearing casual clothes and in no particular rush. You are not going to work as far as I can tell, you stop to talk to other Moms so you are not bolting off somewhere. You do not limp - indeed, you appear rather fit. Are you just lazy? Because when you come out of the school and open your door for your kid to drag herself in you massive Suburban door partially blocks the exit.

2) Post Office Parkers - this is for those of you who park in the handicapped spotand are clearly NOT. WHY? What if EVERYONE "just wanted to run in"? Have you ever seen the man who parks there and gets our and needs TWO crutches? OMG. He smiles and goes in. If I had MY way, he would get YOUR abilities and you would get his infirmaties. Be glad I am not in charge.

3) Church Parkers - Ok, this one is hard because at Church of all places I should be less judgemental. But then again, it was a place that Jesus lost his cool too. Alright, parking is a bear. I know that, that's why we get there early BUT we have been late sometimes and when we are, we suck it up and park 1700 miles away. What is it about parking lots that make people think they can make their own spaces? AND WHY WOULD THIS SEEM LIKE A GREAT PLACE TO BREAK THE RULES? Anyone? Anyone?

4) Strip Mall Parker - Now I have loitered in the "No Parking Fire Lane" area. I think we all have! I have even insisted that Himself be on the lookout for me when I come out. (that's another story for some other time. How can one man get SO interested in a 5 year old TripTik in the 4 minutes I am in the grocery store that he cannot look up to see if I am out of the store or not? I mean, who reads maps? And if you do are they THAT engrossing? Not sure how it all ends? Totally can see why they thought the world was flat? COME ON!) Anyway, who gives these people enough self esteem to PARK in that lane? Why doesn't the firetruck ever come THEN?

You live your life by the rules and then you see all these people who don't really care - and they get away with it! It can really get to you after a while. Vigilante Parking Patrol might be in order :)