The New Schedule

So - we start our mobilization of Napoleon's Army the night before, when everyone either bathes or showers so as to not have to do that in the morning or we would never get out of the house. We pack backpacks and snacks, hopefully make lunches. R is in bed by 8:30 and I am thinking that might need to get earlier. M goes in 9:30 supposedly. Usually some crisis occurs that keeps her up till 10: she must check the weather channel (she wears a uniform), she need to go to the bathroom (for half an hour??) or she lost her pillow. (WTF???) So we humans are settled in by 10 and I watch TV until 12 or so. Don't ask. M says I need Lunesta because the commercial says it is for "restless minds that won't shut off". So as I get to sleep at that time, then 5 out of 7 nights I wake up at 3:30 to pee. All this time preceding SB is asleep on a little pillow next to my bed. At around 4am she will start hearing the deer outside the house and start barking. Usually I am the only one who hears her (again, WTF???) and she will keep up the ruffing and growling until around 5:30. The alarm goes off at 6:30 and I just want to sleep!! M's alarm goes off too and we start The Hair. It takes a long time to get your hair straight and flat apparently. She gets dressed and then eats. I wake R at around 6:45 these days - might push it back. She gets up and we choose bfast. We spend about 5 minutes and always settle on Rice Krispies. This gets eaten, slopped and poured on the dog - in that order. At this time I am getting dressed. I have purchased and put together outfits specifically to piss off the other mothers. This includes shoes, pocketbooks, jewelry and makeup. I am trying to set my place in the pecking order. Yes, it might seem odd but it's what needs to be done. I am very friendly and talk to everyone, but I have "A Plan". Ok, then we then go and wash slopped Krispies off face and brush teeth, get dressed and diss the clothes. ("Mr. Lauren makes ugly stupid clothes" (as in Ralph L) OR one outfit got the thumbs down because "What do you want me to look like, an old man movie star?" The outfit has a belted jacket. Too Bogart-esque I guess? Too much TV with Pippy! Ugh) At this point SB has been chased around the house at least twice to get the doll/sock/hair bow/tin can that she has run off with. IF there is time there might be something watched on Nick for a few minutes and then R makes out with SB before leaving the house, declaring undying love and all that. We get in the car to take M the 1/2 mile to her new bus stop. (Very nice, huh?) We let her get on and we must look "cool" and "disinterested" while sitting in the car. (Do I ever look INTERESTED while sitting in the car? I must.) We must also be sure to be gone before the bus loops around the development. And then we travel the 2 or so miles to R's K class. We have been the first ones there so we sit in the car and go over and over why we can't go in. THERE IS NO ONE THERE. THERE IS NO ONE THERE.THERE IS NO ONE THERE.THERE IS NO ONE THERE. The teachers come from prayer 5 minutes before school starts and we are at the door waiting. Off she goes in and never even looks back at me. I go home and read Email, FT and try to get some work done. Defrost something to cook later. Eat breakfast.Pickup for R is at 11:30 and we need to be back for M's bus - at a different stop - by noon this week. (Her full days start next week and she will have a later arrival home.) We sometimes need to give Pippy his lunch or just generally educate him on the new shows he COULD be watching if he turned to Nickelodeon. Sometimes we force him into a game of Life (played traditionally) or Clue (played, ironically, WITHOUT a clue - just roll dice and move that amount of spaces)Our own lunch of sandwich for M and 20 ounces of milk, a Pringle and 17 goldfish for R. Sometimes some other cookie subs for the fish)Then we need to be sure SB is over fed and over watered. Once tenderly cared for it is now time to attempt to assassinate SB. Choke holds, wrestling matches, "tag" - whatever you call it, it all seems like an attempt to kill a dog that cost $500 a pound to buy. As soon as all of these chores are done we get some downtime at the TV while I try to work/call people back/read Emails/recommend college take certain actions with craze clients/decide if we need a college counselor/plan meals/field IMs from crazy clients and try NOT to eat all the chocolate in the house. Now it is around 4 and we will be playing outside until the days when the weather turns nasty - unless it is Wed or Friday which are dance days. We need to add to the mix: dance practice time for both, violin time for M, the gym- again (summer routine of 3xs at 6:30 will no longer work, family reading time, family prayer time and a few other things, not in that order. The last is the most important :) And there we have it! Repeat daily!